What You Need To Know About Mastering Your Mojo

by Jul 23, 2018Personal Power, Relationships

I was well in to my thirties before I became a man.

Sure, my voice had broke, my balls had dropped and I’d had hair on my chest for a long time.

Obviously these things do NOT define a ‘Man’.

So what does?

What was so profound I could finally proclaim myself a man?

A couple of things:

The first was a Significantly Big Event.

You know, one of those things where you look back and think ‘Woah… Yeah, OK. That changed me!’

Which for me was the acknowledgement that things were NOT working in my life:

My partner of almost seven years woke up one morning and dumped me.

I was working a job I hated.

I had no friends.

No hobbies.

I was totally and completely stuck.

With no choice but to face the sad facts of my life.

Actually that’s not true. There’s always a choice. And that’s the point: I could keep choosing the same old miserable existence. Or I could take responsibility for the state of my life and make a new choice.

So here’s the part where we could talk about ‘Purpose’. How I knew, deep in my bones that there was something important for me to do in the world.

And that’s an important conversation, no doubt. One that we need to have – because there’s so much confusion, avoidance and laziness when it comes to living a life of Purpose. (Mostly, a good reality check and kick up the butt is what’s needed. It’s definitely part of what I needed.)

But it’s more than just Purpose.

It’s about self-sovereignty. Self-responsibility. And Self-love:

Loving myself enough to want more for myself.

Maybe ‘more’ isn’t the best term. But rather wanting something ‘better’ for myself:

To know that I deserved better – better than what I’d been subjecting myself to. Better than what I’d been settling for.

That was the first part of the equation…

The other big thing that shifted me into manhood?


Getting my mojo back.


I’d always been a pretty sexual person. I have memories of being just a few years old and curiously exploring bodies and play and pleasure.

There was a time when I would’ve felt a LOT of shame admitting that.

Because kids exploring sexuality is dirty, right? It’s unhealthy and shameful.

I used to think there was something wrong with me. That I was so curious about sex from such a young age…

Was I sick? Perverted?

I’ve done a lot of work to get over that. To accept that it was healthy and innocent. And that it’s our culture that’s fucked up, repressive and shameful in its attitudes about sex.

Reclaiming sexual power is not only about shame though.

It’s also about embodying the dark, primal, animalistic parts of our sexuality.

‘Unleashing the Beast’ within.

It was that part that terrified me. And fascinated me. To let loose… go wild and obliterate.

‘Nice guys’ don’t do that though…. Do they?

Because I’d always been about ‘making love’. I’d always been about ‘respecting women’. And, I’d swallowed the lie of ‘men’s unrestrained sexuality is DANGEROUS’.

Yeah, when our sexuality is repressed and denied and UNCONSCIOUS, it absolutely IS dangerous.

What we repress controls us. What we deny finds all sorts of messed up, unhealthy ways to express itself. Take a look around. The evidence is EVERYWHERE.

The solution is not to repress and deny it further, but rather to enter that dark, shadowy place with eyes wide open. To EMBRACE, ACCEPT and INTEGRATE those parts of ourselves that are normal and natural.

Releasing shame and integrating a healthy sexuality – it’s some of the most important work we can do in this lifetime.

And surprise surprise – the more I learned how to be with it all,.. the more I learned how to express my wild, unrestrained sexuality,… and – perhaps most importantly – the more I learned how to integrate my animal with my love, my cock AND my heart,…

The more expressed I felt.

The more whole I felt.

The more free I felt.

And the more like a MAN I felt.


Getting Real…


So it’s been a journey of getting real with myself. Of walking head first into the places that terrify me. Places where there’s fear. Contraction. Self doubt.

And it’s the same journey that continues today. The path never ends. There’s no completion, only exploration. Forever exposing those places where I hide from myself. All with an unrelenting commitment to being the most real and honest version of myself.

Sometimes I fail spectacularly. Other times I absolutely crush it.

One thing’s for sure though – I’ve honed the skill of defining Manhood and Masculinity for MYSELF. Seeing past ALL the different flavours of dogmatic bullshit (and let’s be honest, there’s a LOT). And being the man *I* most want to be.

And so that’s the path I walk with others:

Supporting men to find the most authentic and empowering versions of themselves.

And living THAT.

Not who I want them to be. Or who others or society expects them to be. But who they most want to be. Underneath the trauma, the stories and the not-good-enough.


Need some help mastering your mojo?


I’ve currently got a couple of spots open in my Men’s Mojo Intensive – a 12 week program that unleashes your authentic masculine power and supports you in getting real.

If you know you’re not where you want to be, this is for you. If you feel stuck and confused and don’t know how to move forward, this is for you.

If you want to find out more, click the button below to organise a time to chat.

No pressure, no expectation. Just an honest conversation about where you’re at, where you want to be, and if this program’s a good fit for you.

Reach out if it’s time to get real.



Hey, I’m Reece – I support men in building healthy relationships, having deeply connected sex, and creating lives that fucking rock.
CLICK HERE to apply for a free, no-obligation 90 minute Skype coaching session to discover how I can best support you.

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